Hey hi oh my gosh this is my last entry as a member of the Golden Fleece and it is crazy!!! Thank you for reading (or at least clicking on) my blog for the past three years. Looking back and reading all of my entries has been so cool. I can see how life has challenged, strengthened and defined me.
When thinking about what to focus on for this last entry I bounced between a few topics that I wanted to write about. I thought about doing a nice cliche “ah high school is ending I’m so emotional”. I thought about doing a focus on my amazing teammates. I thought about doing a feature on one of the most faithful athletes I know. I thought about touching on my college decision. But I finally landed on something that has HUGELY impacted me the past 2 months.
Roughly two months ago we were having a light practice before heading off to Charleston for the weekend. It was focused heavily on defensive shifting and we were just doing small-sided possession. I have always been one to “go nuts” at practice and in doing so I was so focused on always being in the right spot and getting there the fastest. I planted my left foot in mid-sprint to change directions and YES THIS IS THE MOST TYPICAL WAY TO TEAR YOUR ACL AND I DID IT. I fell to the ground and my leg was pretty much numb in pain so I knew something wasn’t right but at that moment a torn ACL never crossed my mind. I stepped off to the side and coach asked me if I needed the trainer, of course, I refused because I HATE having to sit out for an injury and my pain tolerance is pretty high so I usually avoid it at all costs. I tried doing the next drill and limped my way through it and so my coach ended up calling the trainer anyway. Long story short it was about a 90-minute duration of on and off tears, knee examinations, disbelief and me leaving with a 90% chance I had torn my ACL.
6 days later I got the MRI results back and I remember that moment so clearly. My mom told me when she got home from work, right after I read a college rejection letter and I didn’t even react.
Today I am about 5 weeks post-op and 5 months away from being able to play again!! I am gonna be real with you and say it stinks haha. There really is no other way to describe it. I want to cry almost every time I go to physical therapy (and half the time I do). I want to play every time I sit and watch a practice. I want to score every time I watch a game. I want to lead by example on the field instead of just by voice. But something inside of me is able to hold back the frustration and tears time and time again.
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON– an idea that continues to strengthen my faith. In the book of Ecclesiastes chapter 3, it talks about how God sets the time for finding and losing, tearing and mending, love and hate, literally everything!!! I have read this over and over and still find it so settling. Believe me, I know how hard it is to look at the hardest parts of life and say “oh no worries God has a reason for this”. But… It. Is. So. True. If God has a time for everything, He has a reason for it as well. Stepping off the field these past two months I have grown in so many ways. I wholeheartedly believe I have become a better teammate and a stronger person; guiding me to appreciate the worth and value in putting others first. Stepping off the field these past two months has shown me what a full and faithful heart looks like.
Injuries for an athlete are so so incredibly hard and in the heat of the moment they will never get easier, but I challenge you to take a step back and tell yourself everything happens for a reason.
Signing off for the last time, reminding you to ALWAYS Make Him the Glory of your goal.
~For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.~